Commanders' Guide to Common Servicemen Disorders
**STILL BEING UPDATED**
Every year, thousand of youths pass through the phase known as National Service. Among the vast waves of servicemen churned out every year, there is a growing need for commanders toknow and understand problems and disorders experienced by them. Below is a short guide for new commanders to know the common disorders / phenonemas experienced by servicemen/commanders alike.
_________________________
. Blurtosis [ bler-toh-sis]
aka : "blur-like-sotong" (BLS)
-upon infection, servicemen tends to adopt a semi-conscious state of attention, along with the selective absorption of useless information (ie book-out /smoke-break timings but not the 2.4Km pass timings/ how to react to hostile situation). This disorder is normally found in fresh enlistees, recruits and cadets.
-symptoms
.a vacant look across the serviceman's face
.semi-opened mouth
.a reflex-conditioned verbal response of "HAR?"
"Wah, my recruits BLS! Yesterday, one tried to clear his weapon while it was pointed at me."
*also see Helmetia
___________________________________
_________________________
. Rectusteariolis [ rack-tus-tear-ee-o-lis]
aka : "back-side-tear" (BST)
-the shell shocked state of a servicemen after a severe session of punishment (tekkan session) by his commanders after he has committed a foolish act..
-symptoms
.unnaturally timid demeanour
.the need to ask for permission for every single useless shit (permisson to stretch my legs sir)
.Unnaturaly behaviour pattern (suddenly punctual for all parades)
.in severe cases, a red-soiled underwear and a bleeding nose
"OEI! You better not book in late again, or else I will f**k you till your f***kin BST and nose bleeds!"
_________________________
_________________________
. Angkatbollaris [ang-kart-ball-lar-ris]
aka : "Angkat Bolla"
-a self-imposed/ abnormal tendency for serviceman to praise and worship his commanders. An aggravated form of boot-licking. Commonly found in recruits.
-symptoms
.artificial state of enthusiasm
.sudden rises in metabolic rates when subject is within visual distance of commanders
.loud verbal proclaimations of serviceman's willingness to serve
"Johnny really angkat bolla ah? Everyday talk to PC and PS like friend like that."
*Angkat is malay for "lick"
Bolla is the malay corruption of the work "balls"
_________________________
_________________________
. Hatambollaris[ harm-tarm-ball-lar-ris]
aka : "hatam bolla"
-Not a disorder but a symtom. An act of desperation which includes the serviceman churning out random and irrelevant facts in a failed attempt to support his own statement.
"So you're telling me that you deserve an extra smoke break because you haven't used any vulgarities today? Hattam Bolla! .... .... ... ... f**k off haha!"
_________________________
_________________________
. ORD Mood[ ]
aka : "ORD lor!"
-One of the most common disorders experienced by almost every single serviceman and commanders alike.
A short term disease that cause servicemen to exhibit a excessive amount of civilian traits. It normally targets personnels who are about to ORD (released from service). It usually lasts only for 2-3 months.
-symptoms
.excessive amount of sleeping
.lack of punctuality
.indifference / lack of concern for anything NS-related
.irregular verbal spouts of "ORD LORR!"
*if symptoms persists more than 3 months, serviceman isn't suffering from ORD mood. you've been duped and he's just really screwed up. refer to LCOL
"We havent seen our PC at all for the past 2 months. Must be ORD mood."
_________________________
_________________________
. Pseudonlieugeneralis [soo-don-lee-ew-gen-er-ol-is]
aka : "lance-colonel syndrome" (LCOL)
-another common yet unresearched syndrome. Infected servicemen may tend to adopt the disillusions that they possess a high rank within the armed forces despite not having it. It is usually present to the PAs of senior officers and Regiment sergeant majors. oddly enough, it seems to be present in storemen as well.
-symptoms
.committing foolish acts without consideration of their consequences
.disillusions that they can be immune to punishment
.AWOLS casually
.excessive amount of sleeping
"hey, I heard LCOL Jimmy just blew up and shouted at the Major this morning. Hong Gan!"
**advised directions for LCOL patients
Kindly charge the patient under martial law and admit him to treatment sessions in Detention Barracks (DB). Sessions should be 7 days or longer for optimal effect. Repeat process if symptoms persist.
_________________________
_________________________
. Forminus Smokescreenis[ form-mee-noose-smoke-screen-is]
aka : "smoke-screen formed" (smoke-out)
-an advance strandof the LCOL genus. Unlike its predescessor, this strand is manifests itself in more experienced soldiers. It is very resistent and can usually avoid detection as senior commanders commonly misdiagnose them as a another disorder, sihliousenthumous (zeol-ous-en-too-ness). There is no known cure yet.
-symptoms
**the subject usually display obstensible symptoms to sihliousenthumous such as an always being in his office, constant movement, always attending meeting, never booking out. However, junior commanders may observe more minute details that confirms this disorder
.Presence of a perpeptual safari bed in his cubicle
.Constant movement between his office and the bunk
.The attending of meetings specifically during strenuous trainings
.Never booking out as subject has never booked in, in the first place
"Have you seen the sergeant major?"
"Yeah... wasn't he just.... ... ... Wah kena smoke-out again"
_________________________
_________________________
. Bermuda Cubicle
-a location which has favorable growth conditions for Forminus Smokescreenis. Usually in cool, well sheltered areas such as an air-conditioned cubicle, hidden from main view. Here, large congregations of Forminus Smokescreenis subjects are formed as they are mysteriously lost from their place of duties.
_________________________
_________________________
. Adonnis Helmorrhage[ a-don-is-hel-more-hage]
aka : "Helmetia"
-A severely aggravated form of BLS. Upon physical contact with the inner lining of one's helmet. The subject experiences a neurological triggered trance of stupor. Although it is found throughout, it seems to be rampant among officer cadets.
-symptoms
.The momentary loss of memory and common sense
.A Very vacant look across serviceman's face
.Loss of morale during missions
.Loss of rifles to commanders (rifle stunned)
.Involuntary actions (ie converging during fire fights)
* as for an example, please observe a senior commander (ie commanding officer) holding a young 2nd lieutenant (YSL) by his helmet and shaking it profusely after a failed mission. It is not an action of vented anger. In fact, the CO is trying to loosen the YSL's tight helmet in order to relieve his helmetia.
_________________________
~~more to come guys~~
-peds :)
________________________
Every year, thousand of youths pass through the phase known as National Service. Among the vast waves of servicemen churned out every year, there is a growing need for commanders toknow and understand problems and disorders experienced by them. Below is a short guide for new commanders to know the common disorders / phenonemas experienced by servicemen/commanders alike.
_________________________
. Blurtosis [ bler-toh-sis]
aka : "blur-like-sotong" (BLS)
-upon infection, servicemen tends to adopt a semi-conscious state of attention, along with the selective absorption of useless information (ie book-out /smoke-break timings but not the 2.4Km pass timings/ how to react to hostile situation). This disorder is normally found in fresh enlistees, recruits and cadets.
-symptoms
.a vacant look across the serviceman's face
.semi-opened mouth
.a reflex-conditioned verbal response of "HAR?"
"Wah, my recruits BLS! Yesterday, one tried to clear his weapon while it was pointed at me."
*also see Helmetia
___________________________________
_________________________
. Rectusteariolis [ rack-tus-tear-ee-o-lis]
aka : "back-side-tear" (BST)
-the shell shocked state of a servicemen after a severe session of punishment (tekkan session) by his commanders after he has committed a foolish act..
-symptoms
.unnaturally timid demeanour
.the need to ask for permission for every single useless shit (permisson to stretch my legs sir)
.Unnaturaly behaviour pattern (suddenly punctual for all parades)
.in severe cases, a red-soiled underwear and a bleeding nose
"OEI! You better not book in late again, or else I will f**k you till your f***kin BST and nose bleeds!"
_________________________
_________________________
. Angkatbollaris [ang-kart-ball-lar-ris]
aka : "Angkat Bolla"
-a self-imposed/ abnormal tendency for serviceman to praise and worship his commanders. An aggravated form of boot-licking. Commonly found in recruits.
-symptoms
.artificial state of enthusiasm
.sudden rises in metabolic rates when subject is within visual distance of commanders
.loud verbal proclaimations of serviceman's willingness to serve
"Johnny really angkat bolla ah? Everyday talk to PC and PS like friend like that."
*Angkat is malay for "lick"
Bolla is the malay corruption of the work "balls"
_________________________
_________________________
. Hatambollaris[ harm-tarm-ball-lar-ris]
aka : "hatam bolla"
-Not a disorder but a symtom. An act of desperation which includes the serviceman churning out random and irrelevant facts in a failed attempt to support his own statement.
"So you're telling me that you deserve an extra smoke break because you haven't used any vulgarities today? Hattam Bolla! .... .... ... ... f**k off haha!"
_________________________
_________________________
. ORD Mood[ ]
aka : "ORD lor!"
-One of the most common disorders experienced by almost every single serviceman and commanders alike.
A short term disease that cause servicemen to exhibit a excessive amount of civilian traits. It normally targets personnels who are about to ORD (released from service). It usually lasts only for 2-3 months.
-symptoms
.excessive amount of sleeping
.lack of punctuality
.indifference / lack of concern for anything NS-related
.irregular verbal spouts of "ORD LORR!"
*if symptoms persists more than 3 months, serviceman isn't suffering from ORD mood. you've been duped and he's just really screwed up. refer to LCOL
"We havent seen our PC at all for the past 2 months. Must be ORD mood."
_________________________
_________________________
. Pseudonlieugeneralis [soo-don-lee-ew-gen-er-ol-is]
aka : "lance-colonel syndrome" (LCOL)
-another common yet unresearched syndrome. Infected servicemen may tend to adopt the disillusions that they possess a high rank within the armed forces despite not having it. It is usually present to the PAs of senior officers and Regiment sergeant majors. oddly enough, it seems to be present in storemen as well.
-symptoms
.committing foolish acts without consideration of their consequences
.disillusions that they can be immune to punishment
.AWOLS casually
.excessive amount of sleeping
"hey, I heard LCOL Jimmy just blew up and shouted at the Major this morning. Hong Gan!"
**advised directions for LCOL patients
Kindly charge the patient under martial law and admit him to treatment sessions in Detention Barracks (DB). Sessions should be 7 days or longer for optimal effect. Repeat process if symptoms persist.
_________________________
_________________________
. Forminus Smokescreenis[ form-mee-noose-smoke-screen-is]
aka : "smoke-screen formed" (smoke-out)
-an advance strandof the LCOL genus. Unlike its predescessor, this strand is manifests itself in more experienced soldiers. It is very resistent and can usually avoid detection as senior commanders commonly misdiagnose them as a another disorder, sihliousenthumous (zeol-ous-en-too-ness). There is no known cure yet.
-symptoms
**the subject usually display obstensible symptoms to sihliousenthumous such as an always being in his office, constant movement, always attending meeting, never booking out. However, junior commanders may observe more minute details that confirms this disorder
.Presence of a perpeptual safari bed in his cubicle
.Constant movement between his office and the bunk
.The attending of meetings specifically during strenuous trainings
.Never booking out as subject has never booked in, in the first place
"Have you seen the sergeant major?"
"Yeah... wasn't he just.... ... ... Wah kena smoke-out again"
_________________________
_________________________
. Bermuda Cubicle
-a location which has favorable growth conditions for Forminus Smokescreenis. Usually in cool, well sheltered areas such as an air-conditioned cubicle, hidden from main view. Here, large congregations of Forminus Smokescreenis subjects are formed as they are mysteriously lost from their place of duties.
_________________________
_________________________
. Adonnis Helmorrhage[ a-don-is-hel-more-hage]
aka : "Helmetia"
-A severely aggravated form of BLS. Upon physical contact with the inner lining of one's helmet. The subject experiences a neurological triggered trance of stupor. Although it is found throughout, it seems to be rampant among officer cadets.
-symptoms
.The momentary loss of memory and common sense
.A Very vacant look across serviceman's face
.Loss of morale during missions
.Loss of rifles to commanders (rifle stunned)
.Involuntary actions (ie converging during fire fights)
* as for an example, please observe a senior commander (ie commanding officer) holding a young 2nd lieutenant (YSL) by his helmet and shaking it profusely after a failed mission. It is not an action of vented anger. In fact, the CO is trying to loosen the YSL's tight helmet in order to relieve his helmetia.
_________________________
~~more to come guys~~
-peds :)
posted by F I S at
1:41 pm
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