An Army Log: During Confinement period
15th Jan 2006:: 50 days left
Fatigue. Tiredness. Within the blink of an eye, I ran my 2.4 Km today. Immediately after that, I did my 4 K march. As if things weren't tiring enough. Perhaps what makes Army so tiring is not really the routine order but the efforts the authorities demand from us to enforce a 'satisfactory standard'. I do agree that a perfect form is essential when carrying out orders. Move fast, do fast, do it properly. But this form of control can become extremely pointless when used in excess. For example, we are ordered to greet all superiors upon seeing them. Ironically, these supposedly polite greetings loses its sincerity when enforced so rigidly.
While I am scribbling this in the my little black book we are waiting for the OC (officer in command) to come in to give his opening address.Hmmph, he's late by 15 minutes. Oh look, there he enters, what an apt coming. He scuffles slightly and tells us with hesistation that he was supposed to give us this address last week but he forgot. Hmpph, one week late. I suppose this shows how he---- WAIT----- He is GOOD. He IS PERFECT! He just told us that we may be booking out early for CNY Weekend. YES. HE IS PERFECT! HE is Great!
( post log upon reflection: Sometimes, our behaviours and perception of people reflects ourselves to a greater extent. All our love, all our camaradie, all our hate compares nothing to our lust for a book-out)
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11th Jan 2006 :: 54 days left
Rain. more rain. Everything is cancelled and area cleaning dominates the day. wooohooo. I feel close to God. I really do. Looking at these new buddies of mine, I miss my old friends. I miss ____, I miss __, ____, __, _____, _____. You guys know who you are so theres no need for any uselss PDA.
Some other thoughts, moral exists. But honour doesn't. Honour is a fancy name for reputation and ego. People always blur the black and white line between right and wrong to justify their own actions. Grey causes complications.
In the same way, my own black and white mind is getting blurred. I dont know what should I strive for anymore. OCS seems so out of reach. Screwed up my buddy to the point of possible OOT. Everything in snowballing up. Maybe that is why I feel so close to God. I need his security. desperately. Thank God I have Darrell in my bunk. The Old-dog is really showing me the ropes and calming me down. Rank, pay, prestige aren't everything. Take it easy.
Fatigue. Tiredness. Within the blink of an eye, I ran my 2.4 Km today. Immediately after that, I did my 4 K march. As if things weren't tiring enough. Perhaps what makes Army so tiring is not really the routine order but the efforts the authorities demand from us to enforce a 'satisfactory standard'. I do agree that a perfect form is essential when carrying out orders. Move fast, do fast, do it properly. But this form of control can become extremely pointless when used in excess. For example, we are ordered to greet all superiors upon seeing them. Ironically, these supposedly polite greetings loses its sincerity when enforced so rigidly.
While I am scribbling this in the my little black book we are waiting for the OC (officer in command) to come in to give his opening address.Hmmph, he's late by 15 minutes. Oh look, there he enters, what an apt coming. He scuffles slightly and tells us with hesistation that he was supposed to give us this address last week but he forgot. Hmpph, one week late. I suppose this shows how he---- WAIT----- He is GOOD. He IS PERFECT! He just told us that we may be booking out early for CNY Weekend. YES. HE IS PERFECT! HE is Great!
( post log upon reflection: Sometimes, our behaviours and perception of people reflects ourselves to a greater extent. All our love, all our camaradie, all our hate compares nothing to our lust for a book-out)
____________
11th Jan 2006 :: 54 days left
Rain. more rain. Everything is cancelled and area cleaning dominates the day. wooohooo. I feel close to God. I really do. Looking at these new buddies of mine, I miss my old friends. I miss ____, I miss __, ____, __, _____, _____. You guys know who you are so theres no need for any uselss PDA.
Some other thoughts, moral exists. But honour doesn't. Honour is a fancy name for reputation and ego. People always blur the black and white line between right and wrong to justify their own actions. Grey causes complications.
In the same way, my own black and white mind is getting blurred. I dont know what should I strive for anymore. OCS seems so out of reach. Screwed up my buddy to the point of possible OOT. Everything in snowballing up. Maybe that is why I feel so close to God. I need his security. desperately. Thank God I have Darrell in my bunk. The Old-dog is really showing me the ropes and calming me down. Rank, pay, prestige aren't everything. Take it easy.
posted by F I S at
7:46 pm
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