How christmas was stolen
Today's the day we are supposed to celebrate, jump around in bed, race to the synthetic coniferous tree and praise the lord. I think thats what supposed to happen anyways. I don't mean to be a grinch, but I don't feel the magic anymore. Christmas is dead in my life.
Now what should happen in the previous years is that I would ritualistically buy and write christmas cards for acquaintances and make cards for close friends. But this, year, I just cannot be bothered anymore as I know that christmas is dead.
Honestly, I did buy some cards. But I just ended up staring blankly at them. I simply can't write it out.
"Merry christmas ____,
How have you been? I missed you. BullshitBullshitBullshitBullshit
BullshitBullshitBullshitBullshit It has been so long! BullshitBullshit
BullshitBullshitBullshitBullshitBullshitBullshitBullshitBullshitBullshit
May God bless you and have a Happy New Year, ____
Bullshit yours
Pedro (hope you remember me)
I'm sorry friends. I feel guilty as I recieve your cards through the mail. I didn't send any cards this year and I don't intend to send any. I don't feel the need to, I don't feel the magic. If I were to write out cards, it would be nothing more than a mere act of pretence.
The truth is, I am tired. I'm not sure if its christmas that is adding to my own pressure. I feel exhausted of being there. and I tired of asking questions that both you and I know what the right answer should be. "what the hell are you doing?" I am tired of asking you that. Whats the point of this if you are going to screw up your life anyways? Its as if my advice is a protocol to give yourself that you have considered the outcome when you never had (or ever will)
I am also tired of being questioned myself. Top two question of the season.
1) (now that school is over, you can be honest with me)- Are you attached?
2) (now that school is over, you can be honest with me)- Are you gay?
Firstly, in case you didnt get the blatant meaning of my previous post. I am not intending to get attached, for a long time. I need the time to straighten the mess inside. Hence, I am not attached and I will not be.
Secondly, I am not a homophobe or 'in denial'. I am hetero because I am. There's really no further explanation required.
Now, I really don't mind people asking me either of the questions( even when you guys ask both at the same time). But what pisses me into exasperation is when you people ask me the same damn question more than once. Its likes you are treating me like a freakin insecure little boy who is scared/ shy about my private life from my public life. Its also as if my sincere answer is a joke. now... how should I put this in a most diplomatic manner? ah yes:
"USE you god-damn ears and brains to process (or attempt) my answer"
Great. what a marvelous way to start christmas.
Now what should happen in the previous years is that I would ritualistically buy and write christmas cards for acquaintances and make cards for close friends. But this, year, I just cannot be bothered anymore as I know that christmas is dead.
Honestly, I did buy some cards. But I just ended up staring blankly at them. I simply can't write it out.
"Merry christmas ____,
How have you been? I missed you. BullshitBullshitBullshitBullshit
BullshitBullshitBullshitBullshit It has been so long! BullshitBullshit
BullshitBullshitBullshitBullshitBullshitBullshitBullshitBullshitBullshit
May God bless you and have a Happy New Year, ____
Bullshit yours
Pedro (hope you remember me)
I'm sorry friends. I feel guilty as I recieve your cards through the mail. I didn't send any cards this year and I don't intend to send any. I don't feel the need to, I don't feel the magic. If I were to write out cards, it would be nothing more than a mere act of pretence.
The truth is, I am tired. I'm not sure if its christmas that is adding to my own pressure. I feel exhausted of being there. and I tired of asking questions that both you and I know what the right answer should be. "what the hell are you doing?" I am tired of asking you that. Whats the point of this if you are going to screw up your life anyways? Its as if my advice is a protocol to give yourself that you have considered the outcome when you never had (or ever will)
I am also tired of being questioned myself. Top two question of the season.
1) (now that school is over, you can be honest with me)- Are you attached?
2) (now that school is over, you can be honest with me)- Are you gay?
Firstly, in case you didnt get the blatant meaning of my previous post. I am not intending to get attached, for a long time. I need the time to straighten the mess inside. Hence, I am not attached and I will not be.
Secondly, I am not a homophobe or 'in denial'. I am hetero because I am. There's really no further explanation required.
Now, I really don't mind people asking me either of the questions( even when you guys ask both at the same time). But what pisses me into exasperation is when you people ask me the same damn question more than once. Its likes you are treating me like a freakin insecure little boy who is scared/ shy about my private life from my public life. Its also as if my sincere answer is a joke. now... how should I put this in a most diplomatic manner? ah yes:
"USE you god-damn ears and brains to process (or attempt) my answer"
Great. what a marvelous way to start christmas.
posted by F I S at
8:02 am
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