The Perfect Pon :: a analysis
The word 'Pon' is an abbreviation of the commonly used Hokkien term, 'Pontang' meaning' to skive '. Pon can be defined as the process by which a person skips a school day (or part there of) for a specific reason(s) other than one that is medically certified.
The perfect pon has always been a much debated topic among the schooling population. How should one plan, execute and enjoy all the joys of ponning without suffering or risking the consequences that may follow? Upon much contemplation as well as advice from pon-worn veterans, I believe that the perfect pon can be broken down into 3 respective parts:
1) The preparation
2) The execution
3) The Aftermath
The preparation:
The perfect pon is one by which the subject can be free of any responsibilties for his/her action. All teachers, associates and even parents must not know of the subjects intentions of skipping school. In order for that to happen, the pon must be planned very much in advance (at least one night before the day). On the evening before the perfect pon, the subject should be advised to eat a considerable quantity of food in privacy before attending the familly dinner. At the table, the subject may then "fake" that their appettite has been lost. Before retiring, the subject should always remember to subtly hint the parents (or the adults in charge) that he/she is not 'feeling very well'. With this step done, we now move on the next phase.
The Execution:
The next morning, the subject should try to wake up on their own and proceed to tell the household that they do not feel well enough to attend school. This should be done in a very tactful manner. (especially so when the subject has either left out the preparation step or is already in the middle of the school day and is requesting leave from the teacher) The perfect pon execution is that of a fine delicate balance between a sick expression and a normal one, the look is often described by veterans as ' the mask of realness falsely covering the lie in a ironical blend of truth'. It is always essential to keep in mind that an overly exagerrated expression will ironically expose the subject 's hidden agenda. Many believe that this alone is the most crucial part of any pon, and it has been adviced that one should rather look normal than look sick. Adults are not dumb.
The Aftermath:
The aftermath is not of much importance as compared to the previous phases as the pon has already been executed. However, in order to retain credibility, the subject should always try to carry out this phase as well as a safety precaution that allows future pons. Upon leaving (or being relieved), the subject should immediately type or produce a parents letter. This should and MUST be handed in to the teacher in charge upon the first moments when stepping into school the next day following the pon. This will make things look 'sincere' and builds up your credibility for future pons. It must be warned that pons, no matter how tempting, cannot be used too frequently or suspicions will arise. Using the theory of common sense, the subject should guage when the next pon should be executed. Pons should also be carried out in a seemingly random fashion, continous ponning of lessons on specific days (double-maths days and holidays celebrations) is a literal suicide.
Keeping in mind the concept of the 3 basic steps of the Perfect Pon, as well as the pointers given out. We can all now say with courage and confidence that :
" Imponsible is Nothing "
The perfect pon has always been a much debated topic among the schooling population. How should one plan, execute and enjoy all the joys of ponning without suffering or risking the consequences that may follow? Upon much contemplation as well as advice from pon-worn veterans, I believe that the perfect pon can be broken down into 3 respective parts:
1) The preparation
2) The execution
3) The Aftermath
The preparation:
The perfect pon is one by which the subject can be free of any responsibilties for his/her action. All teachers, associates and even parents must not know of the subjects intentions of skipping school. In order for that to happen, the pon must be planned very much in advance (at least one night before the day). On the evening before the perfect pon, the subject should be advised to eat a considerable quantity of food in privacy before attending the familly dinner. At the table, the subject may then "fake" that their appettite has been lost. Before retiring, the subject should always remember to subtly hint the parents (or the adults in charge) that he/she is not 'feeling very well'. With this step done, we now move on the next phase.
The Execution:
The next morning, the subject should try to wake up on their own and proceed to tell the household that they do not feel well enough to attend school. This should be done in a very tactful manner. (especially so when the subject has either left out the preparation step or is already in the middle of the school day and is requesting leave from the teacher) The perfect pon execution is that of a fine delicate balance between a sick expression and a normal one, the look is often described by veterans as ' the mask of realness falsely covering the lie in a ironical blend of truth'. It is always essential to keep in mind that an overly exagerrated expression will ironically expose the subject 's hidden agenda. Many believe that this alone is the most crucial part of any pon, and it has been adviced that one should rather look normal than look sick. Adults are not dumb.
The Aftermath:
The aftermath is not of much importance as compared to the previous phases as the pon has already been executed. However, in order to retain credibility, the subject should always try to carry out this phase as well as a safety precaution that allows future pons. Upon leaving (or being relieved), the subject should immediately type or produce a parents letter. This should and MUST be handed in to the teacher in charge upon the first moments when stepping into school the next day following the pon. This will make things look 'sincere' and builds up your credibility for future pons. It must be warned that pons, no matter how tempting, cannot be used too frequently or suspicions will arise. Using the theory of common sense, the subject should guage when the next pon should be executed. Pons should also be carried out in a seemingly random fashion, continous ponning of lessons on specific days (double-maths days and holidays celebrations) is a literal suicide.
Keeping in mind the concept of the 3 basic steps of the Perfect Pon, as well as the pointers given out. We can all now say with courage and confidence that :
" Imponsible is Nothing "
posted by F I S at
8:42 pm
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