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This is a hidden post- written at 1:34 pm, August 9th 2005


don't you know how much I love you? I told myself, I could wait. I told myself I could just do nothing and keep it all inside.
Audrey, you may think I have only loved you since Feb, since that dumb letter I gave you for Valentines. But did you know that my heart has been with you since around this time last year? Yes. you have stolen my heart for around one year already, and yet you think of my affections as nothing more than a peevish school boy crush.
Yes, what I did on Valentines was stupid. I knew I would fail and I am glad you rejected me. So in order to prove to myself what you really meant to me, I kept my distance all this while to see if my emotions would wane.
I told you later that I want nothing to do with you. But that was only to give our tension a sense of closure. Perhaps you didnt notice this, but ....

In my letters, in my poem(s), I never said I loved you. I couldn't. Love is a very strong and meaningful word to me and I don't down-grade its meaning like many other people or suitors you may know. I refain from using this word. But over the months, I wondered why this slow steady warmth I feel whenever you walk by stayed.
I always had trouble expressing myself in this aspect. I do not know how to woo you, and I do not know how to make your heart melt. I do not know how to whisper magical words to sweep you off your feet. I will not promise those fiery burning passions of luurve the other guys offer without a second thought. But I will give you my sincerity in my love. Audrey Low Su juan--- I love you. and it doesn't matter what your answer or your opinions are; I still love you.