How do you measure?
How do you measure love?
Passion? Smiles, hugs and kisses? Time spent snuggling with each other watching movies? Or perhaps the money spent on one another. I asked this question out to a friend, of which the reply was simple. 'it's the commitment, the mutual exclusivity of each other to each other. Everything else is a fringe benefit. '
Before I continue, I just want to say that I am rest-deprived. Not sleep. I can go without sleep for a very long time, but my head needs to be a peace. This time, I am rocked with conflicts in turbulent waves of ponder. The last time I felt like this, was the day before my decision not to sign on to the SAF.
Perhaps what really struck me was the term 'mutual exclusivity'. Blunt, but true. As humans, we demand that what we have is special. It has to be something that noone else can enjoy before it is special. For example, if we commit equal time to more than one party... is the lover twice as loving? No, in our social practices, he is a bastard casanova. (and he probably is)
But there has to be more than having a silly exclusive mini-club right?
I looked up the dictionaries as to what the definition of Love is. The results are dissappointing;
1.
a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2.
a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3.
sexual passion or desire.
4.
a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
The list goes on. Basically speaking, Love, in all of its English technicalities, is not anything linked to mutuality. In that case, why the underlying emphasis especially among lovers? I believe that it is out of respect that this mutuality is built up.
As much as for passion, respect is required in a healthy relationship. Mutual respect.
So often we see relationships that are one-sided, one partner does all of the work or perhaps accomodates all. But what is the point if there is no equality between them? The term partner doesnt even apply.
When I was naive, I thought that the only way to measure love was by the time. For only Time can tell. Now I realise that many people stay together, not out of love, but out of security and the commitment not mutually exclusive to one another but towards the safety zone they have built up for themselves. Perhaps there really is no way of measuring Love. Perhaps the only one who knows is the Big Man in heaven who silently watches the Universe in its mundane, eternal course.
Passion? Smiles, hugs and kisses? Time spent snuggling with each other watching movies? Or perhaps the money spent on one another. I asked this question out to a friend, of which the reply was simple. 'it's the commitment, the mutual exclusivity of each other to each other. Everything else is a fringe benefit. '
Before I continue, I just want to say that I am rest-deprived. Not sleep. I can go without sleep for a very long time, but my head needs to be a peace. This time, I am rocked with conflicts in turbulent waves of ponder. The last time I felt like this, was the day before my decision not to sign on to the SAF.
Perhaps what really struck me was the term 'mutual exclusivity'. Blunt, but true. As humans, we demand that what we have is special. It has to be something that noone else can enjoy before it is special. For example, if we commit equal time to more than one party... is the lover twice as loving? No, in our social practices, he is a bastard casanova. (and he probably is)
But there has to be more than having a silly exclusive mini-club right?
I looked up the dictionaries as to what the definition of Love is. The results are dissappointing;
1.
a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2.
a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3.
sexual passion or desire.
4.
a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
The list goes on. Basically speaking, Love, in all of its English technicalities, is not anything linked to mutuality. In that case, why the underlying emphasis especially among lovers? I believe that it is out of respect that this mutuality is built up.
As much as for passion, respect is required in a healthy relationship. Mutual respect.
So often we see relationships that are one-sided, one partner does all of the work or perhaps accomodates all. But what is the point if there is no equality between them? The term partner doesnt even apply.
When I was naive, I thought that the only way to measure love was by the time. For only Time can tell. Now I realise that many people stay together, not out of love, but out of security and the commitment not mutually exclusive to one another but towards the safety zone they have built up for themselves. Perhaps there really is no way of measuring Love. Perhaps the only one who knows is the Big Man in heaven who silently watches the Universe in its mundane, eternal course.
posted by F I S at
6:14 am
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