To Love
Love is not a word I use cheaply or freely. But this post, is dedicated to you my Love. Today is the 26th of July 2008. Its been a fantastic 6 months that we have been together. The reason why I am chrono-hiding this post on this date and time, is that this is the precise moment we got together. It meant everything to me. As a Christian, I am not supposed to say that, but you meant everything to me, despite my attempt at being politically correct, I did place you on a higher pedestal than God in my life.
If I had given you the link to this entry, the reason is obvious. Remember I delayed and stalled the first time you suggested we break it off? Its not because I am in denial of our failing relationship, I just need some time to accept these overwhelming emotions. More importantly, I need to say what I have to before we actually part. After all the horrible events happening in HK yesterday, I've come to realise how fragile and in critical danger our relationship is. From now... every moment we share is a blessing for it may be our last, Wall-E that we're about to watch may be our last. If it is, I am at peaces that I went for it knowing of this possibility.
Hopefully, by now, if we have broken up... I have had said everything I needed to. If not... Sabrina Jensen, you are truly the first girl I dare to say that I have loved. You always tend to feel guilty that I am nice to you while you aren't to me. But that is not true, I enjoyed every moment that we spent together as a couple. Be it smiling, holding hands, talking about our future or disagreeing, being ignored by you, I savoured every moment of it, bitter and sweet.
It is true that you do have your faults, and I do not overlook how I find you emotionally selfish at times. But its also those traits that make you who you are.
If there was one thing that I did regret, is that I spent so much time and effort trying to make you happy that I myself did not sit down and actually think about what you needed; Space, time and understanding.
Perhaps, if I had given you those... perhaps, things would have turned out differently. Maybe I was too serious too soon right from the beginning. But even this moment which I am preserving online, my heart is with you. I try not to boast or to talk abt it... but I really am willing to move to HK for you. For you, I am willing to give up everything I am familiar with singapore for the simple fact that creating new hopeful memories is much easier than forgetting bad old ones. I hope with that same mindset we can move on... and progress from our current state.
You always like to ask, why am I so hopeful? It's because I believe in dreams. For some reason, though my life is filled with much nonsense and irrelevant things, there are only a few things that I am concerned and focused about. Of the very little things I care about, you have always remained very clear in my mind. I do hope that we met at a more convenient circumstance. For all the inconvenience and pain that our long distance relationship posed, it was worth it to me, every single one bit.
Should we really have parted... I want to say that you are the Best I ever had. I still remember the promise you forced me to make with you shortly after we got together. That I would never break your heart. I really wished I never did. You really did mean a lot to me. Long ago, before we got together, I always joked that only you, will be my darling. I will keep that statement, and it will be a term I reserve solely for you. But I do want you to promise me something else.
I want you to promise me that you will be strong too, stronger than me. Walk away from this and make this a clean break no matter how emotionally distraught or annoying I may be. A clean break may be the only thing that will make things better at this point of time.
and maybe, just maybe in the future IF the time and world is more right, we can be together again. Maybe when we are 35 years old. But until then. Please be stronger than me. I love you.
-Love now and forever
P(iggy)eds
26.07.08
18:00 (1 hr before Wall-E)
If I had given you the link to this entry, the reason is obvious. Remember I delayed and stalled the first time you suggested we break it off? Its not because I am in denial of our failing relationship, I just need some time to accept these overwhelming emotions. More importantly, I need to say what I have to before we actually part. After all the horrible events happening in HK yesterday, I've come to realise how fragile and in critical danger our relationship is. From now... every moment we share is a blessing for it may be our last, Wall-E that we're about to watch may be our last. If it is, I am at peaces that I went for it knowing of this possibility.
Hopefully, by now, if we have broken up... I have had said everything I needed to. If not... Sabrina Jensen, you are truly the first girl I dare to say that I have loved. You always tend to feel guilty that I am nice to you while you aren't to me. But that is not true, I enjoyed every moment that we spent together as a couple. Be it smiling, holding hands, talking about our future or disagreeing, being ignored by you, I savoured every moment of it, bitter and sweet.
It is true that you do have your faults, and I do not overlook how I find you emotionally selfish at times. But its also those traits that make you who you are.
If there was one thing that I did regret, is that I spent so much time and effort trying to make you happy that I myself did not sit down and actually think about what you needed; Space, time and understanding.
Perhaps, if I had given you those... perhaps, things would have turned out differently. Maybe I was too serious too soon right from the beginning. But even this moment which I am preserving online, my heart is with you. I try not to boast or to talk abt it... but I really am willing to move to HK for you. For you, I am willing to give up everything I am familiar with singapore for the simple fact that creating new hopeful memories is much easier than forgetting bad old ones. I hope with that same mindset we can move on... and progress from our current state.
You always like to ask, why am I so hopeful? It's because I believe in dreams. For some reason, though my life is filled with much nonsense and irrelevant things, there are only a few things that I am concerned and focused about. Of the very little things I care about, you have always remained very clear in my mind. I do hope that we met at a more convenient circumstance. For all the inconvenience and pain that our long distance relationship posed, it was worth it to me, every single one bit.
Should we really have parted... I want to say that you are the Best I ever had. I still remember the promise you forced me to make with you shortly after we got together. That I would never break your heart. I really wished I never did. You really did mean a lot to me. Long ago, before we got together, I always joked that only you, will be my darling. I will keep that statement, and it will be a term I reserve solely for you. But I do want you to promise me something else.
I want you to promise me that you will be strong too, stronger than me. Walk away from this and make this a clean break no matter how emotionally distraught or annoying I may be. A clean break may be the only thing that will make things better at this point of time.
and maybe, just maybe in the future IF the time and world is more right, we can be together again. Maybe when we are 35 years old. But until then. Please be stronger than me. I love you.
-Love now and forever
P(iggy)eds
26.07.08
18:00 (1 hr before Wall-E)
posted by F I S at
12:02 am
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